Segula

  "Drink this wine," they said, "to find your destined mate,"
  Like some magic love elixir, some romance potion.
  So I grasped that bridal cup and brought my lips close,
  And wouldn't you know it? I spilled it all over me.
 
  "Take this broken shard," they said, "to meet your true beloved,"
  Like some miracle pottery, some wondrous earthenware.
  So I reached for that wedding plate, that little shattered piece,
  And wouldn't you know it? I cut my finger on its sharp edge.
 
  "Hold this lighted candle," they said, "as tall as you want your husband,"
  Like some enchanted torch, some supernatural flame.
  So I held that Sabbath candle and raised it above my head,
  And wouldn't you know it? I lit the house on fire.
 
  "Eat this bread," they said, "to catch your other half,"
  Like some Divine manna, some holy sustenance.
  So I bit into that wedding loaf, that warm, doughy morsel,
  And wouldn't you know it? I began to cough and choke.
 
  "Recite this prayer," they said, "to uncover your betrothed,"
  Like some sanctified liturgy, some sacred hymn.
  So I said those ancient words, and I began to cry,
  And wouldn't you know it? He handed me a tissue.